This Annoys Me.

A big shout out to all you dog owners who have left dog poo in public places.

I hope your dog shits on your pillow case.

How to deal with poopy

Clean your filthy balls you savages.

Women will appreciate it.

Such a shame that some wealthy people can afford luxury cars, yet not know how to drive them.

Props to the camera man calling this a Lambo.

Yes, they are a good way to show a loved one or someone that you are interested in that you care about them.  It is not okay at work, unless you want to get in bed with the person.  We are not kids in school anymore where you have to give me a Valentine’s Day Card or I’ll cry.

I just received 6 Valentine’s Day Cards and candy.  I do not have any cards or candy for anyone.  I hope they don’t expect me to sleep with them.

WTF is this? They’re not even funny, yet so many people love them? Paste me one more LOL Cat and I’m throwing my laptop out the window. F.

Unless you are the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air who has Jeffrey to yell at or you have a kind enough family member/friend/circus pet that can bring you a role of fresh toilet paper when stranded, this annoyance has surely touched your life at one time or another.

Today was one of those days that I made the mistake of sitting down before checking to see if there was a sufficient supply of paper.  I noticed the lack of toilet paper half-way through the performance.  Normally I would yell for help or use my cell to call for assistance, but I was in a single toilet washroom and my cell was left in the office.

Two options: use sand paper towel to clean myself or use my Egyptian cotton boxer briefs and go GI Joe the rest of the work day.

I decided to use the softer option and tossed the boxer briefs in the trash after the cleansing.  I did not want to have a bleeding anus or do nothing and work with mud butt.

How I let the cleaning staff know they’re out of toilet paper.

I’m no weather magician but does it not typically snow in the winter? If I have to see one more report on CNN about Washington D.C crying about snow I’m going to set my hair on fire. Next thing you know they will blame it on Al-QQQQQ aeda for snow bombing them. Obama calling this “snowmageddon” even! Welcome to winter you sons of bitches.

Stop your complaining about how life is so hard and you can’t believe you have to work for money now that you’ve graduated from High School.  You plague ears with your complaints of not having enough money to pay for those ridiculously overpriced shoes…. well Missy…the Gentlemen’s club are always looking for new talent.

Try Harder

If you’ve ever shared various apartments with different roommates, then you can understand why an interview process should be established, before moving in with numb nuts. I sure hope I never get caught living with a roommate like this!

Share your story in the comments section!

I love how women can claim martyrdom to win any argument, and then begin to cry.  There always seems to be a bizarre notion that they “always cook” or “always clean the apartment” when you know for damn sure these duties are divided evenly.  There are too many ways women can guilt-trip guys into folding in an argument, and they use them according to need.  F.