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Dog poop.

10 Mar

Dog poop.

A big shout out to all you dog owners who have left dog poo in public places.

I hope your dog shits on your pillow case.

How to deal with poopy

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!

7 Mar

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!

I guess Men knitting is the new trend. Sure this is fine…but on the subway?

Why wait?

Bad Dancers

22 Feb

Okay, we do not expect everyone to be able to MJ it up on the dance floor, but to all the rhythm masters out there…please notify your friends/siblings/fellow humans that cannot dance about their weakness!

Sure it may be comical from time to time to watch them pump up the jam like an ox with diarrhea but they should at least be aware that their dance moves will not get them laid. Yes you don’t want to hurt their feelings, but think about all the people that will eventually get injured from an attempted Andy Bernard dance off.

Do the right thing.

The Vending Machine Never Hurt You!!!

16 Feb

The Vending Machine Never Hurt You!!!

Please leave the vending machine alone. First off it is probably better that it stole your money. You should be thanking the vending machine for saving your life.

The Vending Machine Never Hurt You!!!

Say What?

16 Feb

Say What?

So you’re talking with someone and suddenly out of nowhere they interrupt you with something completely opposite to what you were talking about … that annoys me.

The other day I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about family and she interrupts me mid-sentence to talk about a commerical she saw on tv (the slap-chop)! Like really, were you THAT un-interested in what I was talking about that your mind wandered off to the commercial you saw the other day? Am I a terrible story teller, do you just not care … what is it?

Dream Car Waste

14 Feb

Such a shame that some wealthy people can afford luxury cars, yet not know how to drive them.

Props to the camera man calling this a Lambo.

The fat old ladies in the office.

11 Feb

The fat old ladies in the office.

It annoys me when the older bigger ladies in the office try to make me eat their baked goods – on the way out of their Weight Watcher’s meeting in the boardroom.

I’m young and of a normal size and don’t want to join your ‘old and fat’ club. Oh yeah – stop complaining that you’re fat while stuffing cookies down your throat. Come on. It’s called common sense. Go eat a salad.

Meathead Men

8 Feb

Meathead Men

I just want to get fit and tone my buns at the local Gym, not be oogled by every greasy meathead man that can’t even turn his head from side to side!

When did being a meathead achieve sexy status? Just because you are packed with roids and acne, does not mean I want to converse with you! Let me workout in peace you buffoon!

Definition of a Meathead

Ambitionless Girls

8 Feb

Ambitionless Girls

Stop your complaining about how life is so hard and you can’t believe you have to work for money now that you’ve graduated from High School.  You plague ears with your complaints of not having enough money to pay for those ridiculously overpriced shoes…. well Missy…the Gentlemen’s club are always looking for new talent.

Try Harder

Massari.

8 Feb

Brb…buying drywall to fix the hole in the wall I punched after viewing this.

    

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