This Annoys Me.

It annoys me when the older bigger ladies in the office try to make me eat their baked goods – on the way out of their Weight Watcher’s meeting in the boardroom.

I’m young and of a normal size and don’t want to join your ‘old and fat’ club. Oh yeah – stop complaining that you’re fat while stuffing cookies down your throat. Come on. It’s called common sense. Go eat a salad.

Unless you are the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air who has Jeffrey to yell at or you have a kind enough family member/friend/circus pet that can bring you a role of fresh toilet paper when stranded, this annoyance has surely touched your life at one time or another.

Today was one of those days that I made the mistake of sitting down before checking to see if there was a sufficient supply of paper.  I noticed the lack of toilet paper half-way through the performance.  Normally I would yell for help or use my cell to call for assistance, but I was in a single toilet washroom and my cell was left in the office.

Two options: use sand paper towel to clean myself or use my Egyptian cotton boxer briefs and go GI Joe the rest of the work day.

I decided to use the softer option and tossed the boxer briefs in the trash after the cleansing.  I did not want to have a bleeding anus or do nothing and work with mud butt.

How I let the cleaning staff know they’re out of toilet paper.

For the past 6 Months I have begun a Green Tea ritual of atleast one glass per day at work.  I read that Green Tea could help lower my stress levels and help me relax.  I believed this to be true as I noticed my stress was decreasing after a Month of drinking the leaves.  Little did I know that the tea would eventually backfire and cause my stress to burst through the roof!

Today was a major annoyance.  I took the office kettle and filled it with water, pushed the on switch to begin the boiling procedure, then headed back to my office for 5 minutes (time it takes for the water to boil with the office kettle).  I completed a few minor tasks in my office then ventured back to the kitchen to fill my cup with the comforting warm water.  During my walk from my office to the kitchen, I pictured the freshly boiled water entering my cup and bringing the tea bag to life!  Well that did not happen…some mother f**ker used up all the water and left the kettle empty!  Not only that but they spilled water all over the counter and my boss walked into the kitchen after me thinking I was the retard who does not know how to pour water into a cup.

I do not mind if you use the boiled water before me, but atleast have the decency to refill the damn kettle with water from the sink that is 10 cm’s beside the kettle and push the one “on” button! 

Tea kettle thief…you ruined the tea party. Tomorrow I am filling the kettle with urine.